“Time to end this little game!”

Why do I keep coming back to this game? It’s like I don’t know how to follow the way of the sane: quit doing the same damn thing over and over and try doing something different for a change.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is a game I keep coming back to for whatever reason. I’d like to think this is because it has an open world for me to explore that doesn’t hinder me in any way and because I can mess around in various dungeons repeatedly. I know a lot of people don’t like it, but respawning enemies makes the world feel a bit more alive to me. Of course, the spawns have to be realistically proportioned in such a way that the game doesn’t feel contrived.

My return to this game turned out to be a bad idea; first of all, I downloaded a bunch of mods to help freshen up the experience a bit, but, as is quite plainly obvious, the game got anything but adequately fresh. In fact, I had to go through the character creation charade three whole times due to two mods pissing me off to such an extent that I went through the effort. I suppose this is where I begin splitting the post into parts? Fuck me if even these past five years have taught me how to write structurally sound blog posts.

Attempt #1: Insufferable intelligence

This is not the first time I’ve had this issue. Well, I suppose I ought to explain my issue to clarify things up a bit first, what? It’s a minor issue, but an annoying issue nonetheless: the mod Immersive Citizens – AI Overhaul SE is a load of skeevershit. The mod supposedly makes NPCs in cities and villages more immersive in the sense that they do more interesting things, which it does, but not very well.

I have now been playing without this mod for a few hours across a handful of days, and I can honestly say very little has changed. I honestly could not give less of a shit whether the NPCs in this game act “immersive”; this game’s engine is clearly incapable of any kind of intellectual immersion as far as NPCs go, so why force it? Additionally, I have quite astutely narrowed one issue down to this mod: it fucks with enemy aggression.

Why does this mod even touch enemy aggression? Here’s the thing: when enemies aggro me in this game while the mod is active, it takes a trillion years for them to deaggro, i.e. “lose sight of me”. This is an incredibly annoying side-effect of this mod, mainly due to the obnoxious combat music this game has. I don’t know how they managed to do this, but the game has combat tracks that are barely noticeable during combat yet infuriatingly irritating whenever combat should not be taking place. It astonishes me how I can grow to hate a piece of music so much.

So, anyway, I turn the mod off and start another character because, well, the mod changes so many things in the game, it’s basically fucking mandatory that I create a new character after the uninstall process. But wait! There are more issues!

Attempt #2: Temporal tarnation

Sometimes, I wish I could experience the entirety of Skyrim anew by somehow forgetting everything about the game. I’d crack my skull against the pavement if it didn’t come with so many other bad symptoms, but, alas, ’twas not meant to be. No, instead, I get to experience the what-the-fuckery that is Ultimate Deadly Encounters, a.k.a. Sands of Time, a.k.a. that one mod with a sexy banana (?), a.k.a. my last-ditch effort at a personal Skyrim renaissance.

Honestly, can anybody please tell me what the hell is up with this mod? It makes no goddamn sense! Firstly, what is up with the mod’s description and website? I get the comedic relief, but I’m trying to install the mod properly, for fuck’s sake, not read a modder’s version of the Googology Wiki. Seriously, fuck that festering cesspool of pretentious pseudo-intellectuals.

This mod’s strange informational layout and obviously quite disturbed authors notwithstanding, I found the extremely script-heavy mod’s effects on the game to be quite… uninteresting. First of all, why did the mod immediately start spamming enemies the moment I exited Riverwood for Bleak Falls Barrow? First, some wolves spawned, then some relatively ridiculously powerful skeletons spawned, and, finally, in Bleak Falls Barrow proper, some bandit highwaymen shortly juxtaposed with nonsense floating ghostly axes and a mysterious stranger clad in a warrior’s armor and—whom the fuck does this pander to? What is this shit? I didn’t ask for this! Why did all this trash spawn? What the hell is this mod doing to my game? Why does my health keep replenishing all the fucking time? Why are the axes attacking the guy? What is even going on? How did this guy even get here in the first place? I asked for more immersion, not whatever the hell this is!

Finally, as the final nail in the mod’s own coffin, I speak to this guy and am like: “hey, thanks for saving me and stuff or whatever,” and he’s like: “yeaaaa bruh les’go to tha pub ‘n’ shieet,” and I’m like: “okay… I guess?” Then, just like that, we’ve teleported to the Sleeping Giant Inn.

So, again, I ask: “can anybody please tell me what the hell is up with this mod?” I keep asking this question because I am absolutely dumbfounded as to what this mod is trying to accomplish. It adds a bunch of overleveled enemies with far too much health, yet I am granted the power of constant health regeneration just out of the blue? If this mod is trying to achieve a more fast-paced and adrenaline-filled combat experience, it falls flat on its non-existent ass, because there was no pace required, and the adrenaline was absent because my health kept regenerating for no apparent reason. On the other hand, if this mod was created with the intent of giving the player the feeling of being a true Dovahkiin in that it grants them greater powers fit only for the Chosen One, it also fails miserably, because that’s not what I was looking for, dipshit!

“I recommend Spartan level.” I’ll show you Spartan, spaz. Down the hole you go, along with this pile of vomit! Perhaps I can play this game without nonsensical spawn rates and other such bullsh—yeah, no. That’s not going to happen, is it?

Attempt #3: Skypiss

I’m all burnt out. There will no more ‘rimming for me any time soon, and I’m not talking about the filthy kind – did you not see the apostrophe?

All digressions aside, unless I change my mind once again like the unbelievable dumbass I am, this game is dead to me. Fuck this game. I don’t want to see one more fucking one-hit-kill giant frostbite spider. I don’t want to see any more freezes on transitions between areas. I don’t want to see any more retarded floating sleeping NPCs. I don’t want to see another billion SMIM barrel lids being lifted as I loot another fucking bandit cave. I don’t want to see any more terrain seams from this game’s awful LOD in the distance. I don’t want to see any more trees and buildings popping into existence as I approach another pseudo-village, any more of the type of which I also don’t want to see.

And, in the event that any of the sightings above do happen to come to be, please, for the love of all that be holy, do not ever let me catch sight of the Creation Club again.

Res post scriptum gravis

Finally, as a disclaimer, I don’t actually think that the creators of Ultimate Deadly Encounters are disturbed, but I really do think the people over at the Googology Wiki are quite demented. Fucking meameamealokkapoowa


The Great Republicization

I have republicized a bunch of videos on my channel that I had previously privatized due to the terrible quality I deemed them to have. However, they are now, once again, viewable in their crappy, shitty, turdy, whatever-other-fecal-words-you-may-have-y glory. I figured they may as well serve as a reminder to those who suck balls that they are not the only ones that suck balls and not just sit rotting on some server far, far away.

Besides, if I were ever to upload more videos, I would choose some other website than YouTube; like hell am I going to bother with the clusterfuck of triggered fuckboys and abusers of the shitty copyright system that flags everything and everyone for removal. Thus, I have no reason to care whether my channel is clogged with nonsense anymore. YouTube can choke on a dick, for all I care.

Oh, look! The AGDQ 2018 schedule is up!

And it’s absolute garbage. What is this? Is this supposed to be a joke? Either these are all games I don’t give a shit about, or the good games will be run in the middle of the fucking night on weekdays. That’s just great.

Not that it matters, anyway—the damn event has been a clusterfuck the last year. First of all, what PC dumbasses are in charge of the chat rules? Honestly, it’s like a fucking kindergarten, where saying booboo words is a severe no-no. haHAA, it’s like they’re offended or something. This wouldn’t even be a problem if everything else wasn’t so cringy, especially the way it was this summer. Holy hell, if that repeats, I’m out.

But, seriously, the only good games this year are:

  • Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy,
  • Ratchet & Clank,
  • The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim,
  • Yooka-Laylee,
  • LittleBigPlanet 2,
  • Resident Evil 7: Biohazard,
  • Silent Hill,
  • Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga,
  • Super Mario Sunshine,
  • Dishonored,
  • Spelunky (HD),
  • Super Mario Galaxy,
  • Super Monkey Ball, and
  • Kirby: Canvas Curse.

This is a fair list, but I can’t watch most of these because they’ll either be run in the middle of the night, in the morning or around noon, all times upon which I’ll be busy. Missing out on stuff that doesn’t suck is my favorite pastime!


Oh, look. Once again, the post didn’t, you know, post. God dammit. This was supposed to be up on October 31st, but of course we can’t have that shit.

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It’s time: YouTube notifications

I have held back on this for while, but I have to ask: What the fuck happened to the YouTube notification system?

For those not in the know: If you have a YouTube account and actually use said YouTube account, whenever you get a reply on one of your comments or somebody you have subscribed to, and for whom you have activated upload notifications, uploads, you get a notification. It’s like a Facebook (*shiver*) notification, really.

It used to be that these notifications would work in a modular way such that one could just click on the notification bell next to the channel icon in the upper right corner of the web page and select a notification. The notification would then expand dong and allow you to read whatever kind of notification it was. Well, guess what? It doesn’t fucking work like that anymore!

For the entirety of 2017, I have completely avoided the notification system completely, because it now does not allow you to read what the notification is about without having to either leave the current page completely or open up a new tab using the middle mouse button! So, if you have a reply on a comment, the notification tab does not actually tell you that it is a reply to one of your comments on a given video at a given time anymore! It’s just an image of whatever avatar the user in question has and a timestamp, along with a video thumbnail. No context, no username, no indication of the notification’s type whatsoever.

What a fucking joke.

P.S.: Okay, I found a way to discern whether a notification is an upload or a reply to one of your comments: You click the vertical ellipsis in the upper right corner of the notification to expand dong the extra options menu. You will then indirectly be told what kind of notification it is. If the menu says a) “Mute [USERNAME]” followed by “Turn off reply updates”, then it is a reply to one of your comments, and if the menu says b) “Turn off notifications for: [USERNAME]”, then it is an upload from one of the channels, notifications for which you have turned on (wow pretentious English).

P.P.S.: This was actually written on the 8th of August, but for some reason, WordPress decided not to publish it. That’s good. Now YouTube has changed their layout once again, and I have mixed feelings about it. I probably won’t write any more on this subject.

Fallout 4 – Linguistic idea

I really hate the focus I’ve had on Fallout 4 lately, but I just had a small thought: why does everyone in this world have the exact same dialects one would find today? The language has not changed one bit; the grammar has remained the same, and the same goes for vocabulary, aside from in-universe jargon which is required to describe certain things, of course.

It’s just a bit odd. Two centuries pass and the English language remains the same? No. Separation of groups of people like that is bound to cause dialects to pop up which would be audibly different from anything we have today. Of course, there are radio stations, but I can’t imagine there being radio stations everywhere right? I don’t know.

I might as well use this post to vent about the Draconic language in “The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim”, or just “Skyrim”. Concerning the vocabulary, what the hell is up with that language? It’s literally just English except encrypted! Its grammar is English, its sentence structure is English, and its overall flow reeks of English! It’s not a language; it’s a cipher, a kid’s invention, a fraud! It’s something I would have come up with back when I was twelve!

I need sleep now…

P.S. 1st of July, 2017: Perhaps the English language has devolved into something analogous to the fusion of iron in the core of a star; it has stopped “evolving” due to reaching a critical stage of non-evolvability. Nah, that couldn’t be.