To watch, go here: https://www.twitch.tv/gamesdonequick
If you don’t know what (A)GDQ (“(Awesome) Games Done Quick”) is, what are you then doing here? Obviously, you’re not into games.
Regarding my absolute meltdown last night due to “Fallout 4” being an absolute crashy mess in V.A.T.S. and the special edition of “The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim” for whatever reason not launching, I seem to have found a fix. It’s the most stupid fix I have encountered yet.
See, whenever there are files missing or certain parts of a program are outdated, we tend to have certain… hrmmm… watchamacallits… oh yeah! ERROR MESSAGES in place! You know, those traumatizing yet helpful messages that tell you what is wrong and thus may give some pointers as to how you may proceed to fix the problem? I’m not including those worthless “oh lol something went wrong for whatever reason you know we’re not going to tell you because our programmers are too fuckign lazy to doa nything right so where just going to ignore you bye”-messages here. Fuck those.
Anyway, I was browsing the Steams and decided to search for “won’t launch”, which didn’t bring up any results. Oh… right, people don’t know what “launch” means. So I tried “won’t start”, and I ended up finding this thread. Specifically, the final comment, which mentioned this video, contained the fix I was looking for.
“So then,” I hear you say. “What was it, then, that was your problem, you spastic turd?” I won’t sugarcoat it for you nor anybody else. My problem was that Windows, specifically the seventh version, for whatever reason was missing this update.
As for why it was missing, I have no idea. I have updates turned on — even non-essential ones, I’m fairly sure. How I have not gotten this update over the course of two fucking months is incomprehensible to me. I’m pretty sure my system updates at least once a month, so don’t come here and tell me I was missing some update because it decided to skip it. Fuck that. That is absolutely retarded, and Micro$oft should be ashamed of themselves.
… and it’s not launching. Isn’t that just special? A bunch of memory is allocated but the executable is probably in a corner jacking off for whatever reason. Good job. Really fucking special.
Edit01: Sure, don’t give me a fucking error message or anything. That would be useful.
Edit02: Here’s a shitty set of instructions:
Does not work. Will not even respond. Is shitty game. Admin rights do jack shit when the executable has been compiled by a bunch of worthless fags being paid to make a pile of turd.
Edit03: Well, shit. Here I was just deciding to switch to Skyrim for once after Fallout 4 kept crashing randomly upon opening V.A.T.S. at least a trillion times a day. From one shitty game to another shitty game that won’t even launch. Fuck Bethesda. Honestly, why do I even bother? Guess I’m just suffering from masochistic tendencies.
Edit04: Let’s see… scratching restarting Steam off the list…
Edit05: May I just take some time to write that I would have fucking destroyed Bethesda had I not already owned the Legendary Edition (wow, editions editions editions fuck your editions bethesda you fat hacks)?
Edit06: DO YOU REALIZE THIS SO-CALLED “SPECIAL EDITION HAS BEEN OUT FOR WELL OVER TWO MONTHS NOW? HAS THIS ISSUE ENCOUNTERED BY MANY ON RELEASE DAY NOT YET BEEN FIXED? IS IT HONESTLY THAT DIFFICULT TO GRASP? YOU GET PAID. CUSTOMERS RECEIVE FUNCTIONAL PRODUCT. FUCK THE FINE PRINT; FOCUS ON ETHICS, YOU TWATSCATS.
Edit07: Going to attempt the updating of drivers. Shall see what will be made after a while. I shall return once results have been fetched.
Edit08: Well, that didn’t work. That wasn’t easy. Even just installing Nvidia’s drivers is a pain in the ass because the installation wizard keeps failing for whatever reason so I have to enter safe mode in order that anything actually finish installing without giving a useless error telling me that the installation was unsuccessful and just leaving it at that. Fucking worthless software designers and programmers these days.
So, you know what? Fuck Skyrim. Fuck Bethesda and their faggy games. I have just about had it. I might return to Witcher 3 instead. At least the fucking game launches.